Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!

Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well.
Teacher: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school!

Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?
Pupil: Not very much!

Father: I hear you skipped school to play football.
Son: No, I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!

Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!

Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!